Saying goodbye.

I've spent the last few weeks knowing that the end of the school year was approaching fast and I was clinging to any moment that I was given to be with my friends. I watched as the days flew by and yeah I was that one person who when it was brought up didn't want to talk about the end of the year. I didn't want to think about leaving my friends behind. 

This past weekend was the last weekend here and I didn't want it to fly by without having a blast. So I spent pretty much all my time with my friends. Not doing anything absolutely crazy but definitely memorable, and I'll never forget this past weekend. But before I knew it Sunday was here and due to certain circumstances two of my friends that I've grown to love got into trouble. It was a long day to say the least and when we finally pulled back onto campus late that night I was definitely emotionally drained and physically drained. I wasn't and I'm not angry for the actions of my friends. We all mistakes and we all sin, but the events that came to follow have turned my life upside down...that's for sure. 

I spent Memorial Day sitting outside the deans office waiting to hear what their punishment would be. And I definitely wasn't expecting what started to unfold. They both were dismissed from school. So I've spent the last 3 days an emotional wreck, I haven't slept through the night and I haven't been eating, I can't bring myself to do it. But especially yesterday when I found out that they were leaving early. I know that they would have left on Friday...I get that but it's different when you think you still have a few days left with people you care so much about. I spent last night saying goodbye to one of my friends. And then I spent all day in classes crying and waiting to get a text to find out what was going on. I said goodbye to him again this afternoon and then didn't really know what to do with myself. So I spent two hours with my other friend outside his dorm waiting for his parents to show up. Having to say goodbye....I'm still very easily upset. All someone has to really do is mention one of their names and I'm brought to tears. And while yeah I'm hurt, and my emotions are something I can't really avoid I KNOW and I am CONFIDENT that God has a plan and a purpose for everything. And yeah I'm hurting but God's right there. 

I just wish goodbye wasn't so hard.